Free You Don't Mess with the Zohan
Genres: ActionComedyDr
Starring: Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, John Turturro, Kevin Nealon, Nick Swardson, Lainie Kazan, Emmanuelle Chriqui
Available Quality: Hi Def
Director(s): Dennis Dugan
Country: USA
Year: 2008
IMDB Rating: 5.6
Zohan Dvir works as a Special Agent and lives with his orthodox parents in Israel. He wants to give up this life full of dangerous encounters with Palestinians. While in the process of apprehending a Palestinian activist known simply as the Phantom, he fakes his death, hides in a dog-kennel on a plane bound for New York, and decides to try his hand as a hair-stylist. He is refused employment initially, but when he offers to work for free, Dahlia hires him as a cleaner. When a hair-stylist named Debbie quits, Zohan replaces her, winning over elderly female client
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Visitors Review
stephane_decker (19 May 2013)
Had its moments. Quite a while ago...
I will not write a constructive review about this movie, as I wastedenough time and money already by watching it in the theater.Now Adam Sandler delivers a very solid work here, maybe his best, nodoubt about it. As an American trying to imitate a primitive middleeast immigrant, he reminds you of Borat. Trust me though, only thatidea is what they have in common: where Borat delivers fun moments andunexpected hilarious moments, Zohan does not completely fail at that,but mostly does. Worse than being not funny, half of the "jokes" arevery stupid and below bottom line. And I'm not talking stupid in afunny way.I add to that the overstretched length of this movie and the fact theonly fun moments of it are in the first 30-45 minutes. From there on,the quality drops at high rate.I should have believed in the negative critics from other reviewers, asthey are right. The jokes about the Isreali-Palestinian conflict arebarely funny as well, plus someone said the movie was funnier if youspeak Hebrew... now thats not too many of us.5 stars (a lot for this silly rubbish) for the cool moments and AdamSandler as Zohan.
Jason Lee (18 May 2013)
Takes satire and outrageousness to the sensitive theme of terrorism
First of all let's get this out of the way, the opening is by far theworst part of the movie, and is the only part where I almost walkedout. It was plain juvenile. Now I've never been a huge Adam Sandlerfan, I always thought his best work was The Waterboy and Happy Gilmore,but never really got into his later work. At some point he becamedownright annoying to me. At first I was reluctant to watch "You Don'tMess with the Zohan", or just Zohan for short. The poster really put meoff, it just looked like another stupid mindless comedy.Well, that's exactly what it is. But there's more. Zohan Dvir is anIsraeli counter-terrorist commando, and the theme of the movie is aboutterrorism, Israelis, Palestinians, stereotypes, the Middle Easternconflict, etc. This is an extremely sensitive subject, but Zohanmanages to poke fun at everyone, and turn stereotypes into funny. It'ssafe humor for everyone. Even Rob Schneider, whom many class as acomplete hack and an expert in making flops, did very well in his rolein Zohan. He seems to do well when he tries to play a serious yet sillyrole, as he does in Zohan, being the leader of a band of "threestooges" type of character. John Turturro also does well, his characterhad this Homer Simpson-like scream that seems to work well in mostscenes, but never overused. Emmanuelle Chriqui plays Sandler's loveinterest and she's eye candy.Notable mentions to Michael Buffer who makes a great cameo, NickSwardson and his mom were a hilarious angle, and the actors from boththe Israeli and Palestinian side (especially the Israeli merchants).Come to think of it, Sandler himself was so-so, but his supporting castwas excellent. All in all it was a great popcorn flick, and had a couple of reallylaugh out loud moments, which basically achieves its goal. I'm notsurprised to see Judd Apatow having a hand in writing the script, theguy is on a hot streak.
(15 May 2013)
Grade School Humor
Usually I do not care if a comedy movie is historically or culturally accurate, but this film was so off that it became annoying (specifically details about Israel, the Palestinians, and the conflict.)I was impressed at the number of actors who were willing to appear throughout this production, though I suspect they did it for the money or because Adam Sandler wrote them some I.O.U.s.Basically, this film relied on grade school humor. Actually, let me retract that statement because grade school humor has more depth than this script. Does Adam Sandler have a buttock/anal fetish? If you see the film, you'll know why I asked this question.Avoid "Zohan" if you can...
gavin6942 (15 May 2013)
I Think I Might Have Liked It
Zohan (Adam Sandler), Israel spy, fakes his own death in order to cometo America and start a new profession: hair stylist. But problems beginto mount when he is recognized by a local Arab cab driver (RobSchneider), who alerts a Palestinian terrorist (John Turturro). This,and he falls in love with a Palestinian woman.For reasons that I cannot begin to comprehend, the reviews I read onthis were largely positive, including from political commentator StuartKlawans, who is very picky most of the time. Which is not to say thefilm is bad, but I have a hard time thinking that the movie is all thatgood. Most of the jokes revolve around the use of hummus or Sandler'ssexual prowess with older women.I was amused, at least somewhat, despite my general dislike of Sandler.(I like some of his movies but overall don't consider him a greatcomedian.) I think this is due to Schneider (love him) and Turturro(vastly under-rated). I needed some Jon Lovitz, but this was still agood ensemble cast. What I found most troublesome was the portrayal ofIsraelis and Palestinians.On one hand, they did a decent job of making the conflict humorous,which I imagine is hard to do. But it seems irresponsible to take sucha big and important issue and reduce it to such a stereotype, and withsuch a subtle bias. While the gist seems to be that Palestinians andIsraelis need to learn to live together in harmony, there's still anunderlying theme of "Israel good" and "Palestinians are allterrorists". So, this isn't a story of two equals coming together, butof one side being assimilated by the other to some extent.I'd like to give the movie another chance. I freely admit I watchedthis after a night out, so my body was largely composed of Miller Lite.I followed it fine, but probably missed much (one of the people Iwatched it with seems to barely recollect it at all). Hopefully givingthis film another chance doesn't lead to a reassessment of Sandler, andmaybe I can try to view it without over-analyzing... but it's hard tomake a film about Middle East conflict and not invite criticism.
meeza (10 May 2013)
This Zohani Desert is not dry with laughs!
I have no other choice but to give a favorable recommendation to thenew Adam Sandler flick "You Don't Mess With The Zohan". I do not wantit to get messy with the Sandman if I dis the flick. I have enjoyed afew of Sandler's flicks (The Wedding Singer, Punch Drunk Love, Mr.Deeds) while others I have found them to be in No Man's Cinema Land (50First Dates, Anger Management, Click). Zohan does fall in the formerinstead of the No Man's Land latter. "You Don't Mess With The Zohan"stars Sandler as the title character who is a tough-as-nails IsraeliMossad Agent who fakes his death in order to immigrate to New York tobe a hairstylist. There he achieves hair-raising success as a stylistin a Palestinian beauty salon; where along with servicing his femalegeriatric clients with hairstyling services, he also presents them someadditional Zohanic organic fringe benefits in the backroom Wild Zohari.The Great Zohani even falls for the beautiful beauty salon owner Daliaplayed by the bella actress Emmanuelle Chriqui. Eventually Zohan doesget into hairy situations when a longtime Palestinian nemesis named"The Phantom" phantoms his way to New York to find Zohan, and anotherZohan nemesis comes in the form of a Palestinian cab driver named Salimwho wants to avenge Zohan for stealing his goat in the east countrymany years ago. Sandler spiked up the laughs as Zohan in a fewoutlandish scenes that will be embedded in your cinematic scalp fordays to come. The Moosead, I mean Mossad Agent Zohan's comedic-actionsequences also made the cut in sheer entertainment value. The greatJohn Turturro was uproarious as Phantom; and even Rob Schneider, yesthat Rob Schneider, was no acting goat and was wonderfully zany asSalim. The film was co-scripted by Sandler and it is quite evident bythe numerous "Sandlerisms" in numerous scenes. "You Don't Mess With TheZohan" might be an exercise in guilty-pleasure futility, but it isstyled to be most probably the funniest film of the year. *****Excellent
Bhagavathy Padmanabhan (09 May 2013)
Really Fantastic Movie
Excellent movie with a great message but tinged with side splittingcomedy.Adam Sandler - He is the best.I never thought that I would seehim cast and act this way but he did it folks. To all those who want tolaugh like a riot, relax like a bear this is the movie.Every centworth. I saw this movie in British Airways on my return to US and thismovie blasted my boredom, pain of sitting in the flight for more than10 hrs. Another message in the movie is about the Arabs(Palestinians)and the Jews.I want to add more but cannot as I do not want my name tobe black listed. All - Please do see the movie if you want to laugh,laugh and laugh
alejandrosepulvedaortega (09 May 2013)
Sandler at his worst
A great disappointment. Avoid watching it, you will want your money back.A very bad attempt at political comedy. Having the usual suspects (Rob Schneider, Nealon, etc.) playing partsat this movie is quite predictable.I fell asleep once involuntarily, then once again on purpose.Hopefully Sandler will get back on track. If he keeps on like this hewill end like Eddie Murphy.Click was a very sad attempt at comedy, this one is much worse. Whatwere they thinking.
Garnett (09 May 2013)
YOU DONT SEE THE ZOHAN
Instead of "You don't mess with the Zohan" it should be "You don't see the Zohan" because this movie stunk.Sorry, but Adam Sandler merely showing his rear does not constitute humor. When most of the movie and humor are based on Zohan nailing older ladies as they get their hair done - you know there's not much of worth there.Plus - who makes an empty, weak comedy 2 hours long? Very painful to sit through.Saw this one for free at an advanced screening, but I'll never get those 2 hours of my life back - sigh.SAVE YOURSELF - DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE!!!
Jon Death (02 May 2013)
Underrated
Point blank, this is a really funny movie. Adam just took the slapstickfurther than I think some fans were used to and they just weren'tfeeling it the way it was intended. There's also a bit more sleazehumor than we're used to with Adam's characters. If you found it funnythat he slept with the old Asian woman in Happy Gilmore, you'lldefinitely respond well to his character in this film.I really don't want to give away a SINGLE detail because everythingjust sort of creeps up on you including the initial action sequencewhich was absolutely hysterical. The action, aside from being funny, isalso quite good. The martial arts are done with absolute perfection butin such a way that they're extremely humorous.In all fairness to those that criticize, this movie probably isn'tquite a 10 but to compensate for the unexplainable bad ratings andreviews on IMDb, it was absolutely necessary. I thought The Waterboywas his worst film by far quite simply because the character wasannoying but, a lot of people swear by it which goes to show they'retasteless idiots :) Give it a try and I'm sure you'll burst outlaughing pretty hard at least a couple times if not more.
chemicalwasted (02 May 2013)
Propaganda
Brainless & incredibly offensive at times, I find it difficult toexpress how bad this movie really is.What I find most offensive however is the outright, unabashedpro-Israeli and anti-white propaganda. In the movie Israel isapparently blameless for its crimes, purveying the idea thatPalestinians & the Israelis could get along just fine if it wasn't forthe evil western all-white corporations & their racist redneck allies.How can they get away with films like these? I shouldn't be having tosay this, especially with one that gives such unsubtle messages, buttake those messages with a hefty pinch of salt.
dy158 (30 April 2013)
Encouraging racial unity, via comedy
Zohan Dvir (Adam Sandler) has a highly respectable job at the IsraelDefence Forces. He is a counter-terrorist army commando. While hisparents are proud of his profession, Zohan has always wanted to move tothe United States and be a hairdresser. But when he said he has alwayswanted to be a hairdresser, he was being mocked by his parents.That did not stop Zohan though. But before he can achieve what hewanted to do all along, he has to stop a Palestinian terrorist groupbeing led by his personal arch-enemy, Fatoush "the Phantom" Hakbarah(John Turturro). Along the way in the pursuit of the Phantom, hemanages to fake his own death and smuggled himself on a flight to NewYork City, unbeknownst to the Phantom who would later be having asuccessful fast food business after supposedly killing Zohan.As for Zohan, he cut his own hair and took on the alias of 'ScrappyCoco' (the names of the two dogs he shared a flight with) and claimedthat he is 'Half Australian, Half Mount Everest' as he introducedhimself to the mother of his new friend Michael (Nick Swardson). AsZohan sets about fulfilling his ambition of being a hairdresser, theage-old politics of misunderstanding between the Israelis and thePalestinians caught up with him in lower Manhattan and the greedinessof a corporate magnate in Grant Walbridge (Michael Buffer).It is always never easy to tackle an issue as delicate as what is inthe film. It stays clear of the stereotypes, as it showed how theIsraelis and the Palestinians came together when Grant Walbridge wastrying to fulfil his ambition of trying to build a mall in the areawhere the Middle East Americans reside, apart from Zohan himself.Speaking of the main character himself played by Adam Sandler, thesuperhuman abilities in Sandler's character brings about the comicrelief.
(29 April 2013)
Semi Inspired Goofiness
Adam Sandler has always been an enigma to me. I never liked him on "SNL" finding him whiny and annoying. He's had his moments on the big screen with "Happy Gilmore" and "Anger Management". His high point was probably "Punch-Drunk Love" but I attribute that to auteur Paul Thomas Anderson finding the perfect actor for his vision. Daniel Day-Lewis Sandler ain't. I came to "Zohan" intrigued by the concept of an Israeli counter-terrorist with a secret desire to become a hair stylist. Despite the intermittent crudity the film works with a passable laugh quotient. What I didn't expect was Sandler, who produced the film, making a plea for peace in the Middle East. Sure, it's not a profound plea but, hey, what do you expect from a Sandler movie. Sandler is good as is John Torturro as Zohan's Palestinian opposite, the Phantom. Rob Schneider, buddy of Sandler and forever to be branded as the photocopier guy, has a nice bit as a Palestinian cabbie who ID's Zohan. I recommend the film with possible reservations to those with sensitive sensibilities.
TrippGlambert (28 April 2013)
Offensive and Silly
Before I review this film I just want to tell you, I'm not of of thosepeople. Those people that go to movies like this just to write abouthow stupid they were, I enjoy some silly light hearted movies, I love agood Sandler comedy but this was just plain bad.I kind of knew Zohan would be bad inside but I still wanted to see it,I loved Little Nicky even though critics trashed that. So I thoughtZohan might be quite misunderstood as well. Boy! I was wrong. You Don'tMess With the Zohan was a shoddy and obnoxious attempt at a comedymovie. It is utterly silly and tries to get you with shock factor butends up being just plain weird. It gets a four because while it mostly reeks of bad, it still has somegood jokes in it, the beginning to film promises a very odd andrefreshing new comedy and the first 5 minutes will tickle your spine.But then it just gets odder and odder - to a point where it's almostunwatchable and through this try hard weirdness it still produces somelovable Sandler comedy. And while rear, the occasional joke is verylaughable.The plot seems promising, but totally fails on content. It wanders tofar from the plot and ends up to be so silly it's offensive, it's triesto throw random jokes out like Family Guy. It fails miserably and inresult is a very messy, unco-ordinated film. Plus it's completelystereotypes Middle Eastern people. It's like the writers didn't get thememo that everyone is now supposed to be equal. And for overseas peoplewatching, it completely reverses America's efforts to appear more openminded and equal.In summary, Zohan is while occasionally funny, 99% of the time a verymessy, silly, outrageous (not in a good way) film. Go see it if youlike to laugh at other races and enjoy very brainless toilet humor.
tastyhotdogs (27 April 2013)
Awful
"You Don't Mess With The Zohan" is a fictional story about Israeliassassin Zohan (Sandler) who longs to quit his demanding job and moveto the US to become a hairdresser. To do so he fakes his death andboards a plane with a couple of dogs. Once he lands in the US hesearches for his dream job, starting at the top salon but after beinglaughed off the premises, eventually settles for a dumpy small salon.When a hair stylist quits, Zohan gets his chance. He soon becomesrenowned for giving great old lady haircuts, which include certain"favours". Things aren't all smooth though as Zohan must deal withracial issues, falling for a Palestinian and being recognised by somecountymen.Just an awful, awful movie. Besides the awful storyline and having morepenil jokes than even Mike Myers would dream of, it semi-attempted totouch on the Middle Eastern situation. One of the worst movies I'veseen in recent memory. Some good cameos, with Mariah Carey doing an OKjob but Dave Matthews not so good, perhaps even worse than Fergie in"Posiedon".
vak5491 (23 April 2013)
worst Adam Sandler movie ever!!!
I am by far a die hard Adam Sandler fan.. I have seen every movie hehas made, and enjoyed every one of them. I have to admit my seventeenyear old son and I came so close to walking out on this movie, It wasso horrible, I think the only time we may have chuckled, was theneosporin part of the movie where they throw it on the window, but tomake light of the fighting that is going on in todays society, and thenmaking Americans look like the bad guy, was ridiculous. He has a lot ofclose friends that play a lot in his movies, and maybe should have saidsomething to him, but they chose to rave about the movie, It sucked...was a waste of 35 dollars, Adam Sandler, stick to funny romanticcomedies.. politics do not do you any justice, not even in a lighthearted manner!!!!
tylerjones11 (23 April 2013)
worst movie I have ever seen
Where to begin at the beginning he is at the beach with a very annoyingaccent throughout and most of the jokes are very predictable and veryboring and he is grilling naked at the beach and fakes his death afterplaying ping pong with a grenade.Just to cut hair in new york anddoesn't get most of the jobs and runs off when he sees someone thatnotices him after his haircut on a plane in a cage with two dogs. Thereason it is is because one of the jokes is where they are screaming asloud as they can in opera and that just destroys everything on theblock and the movie and I even saw people walk out of the movie andlaughing when there was no joke and when one happened they stopped andyawned and the only funny parts were on the trailer and thats itthroughout my eyes were drooping and I was about to fall asleep theonly reason I stayed is because I hoped it would get better and betterbut it just got worse and worse. I thought that 4 year old could writea better script sorry saddler but you need better help and a betterscript. I would look back at billy maddison and happy gilmore for helpif I were you.
ciao77 (20 April 2013)
Not worth messing with anyway.
You Don't Mess with the Zohan had to have been one of the worst, if notTHE worst film I have seen in a very long time. I cannot understand howanyone could even imagine making such a worthless, terrible movie. Idid not expect much out of this, but even a ridiculous plot like thishas to have some sort of redeeming quality, right? Wrong. I watchedthis mainly out of curiosity. For one thing, this should not havegotten a PG-13 rating. My guess is that PG-13 will allow more youngpeople to buy tickets to see this (or more parents to allow their kidsto see it), and therefore drive up profits. But that's just my point ofview. Anyway, some of the jokes and situations were so crude--warningto any parents with 10 year olds: this is most definitely not for them.Speaking of the crudeness- the sex jokes, sexual references,stereotypes, etc., were not just stupid, but immature, overused, andridiculous. Crotch shots? Check. Banging old women? Check. Naked arse?Check. Unrealistically large, ahem, package? Check. Okay, we get it,now let's move on. Unfortunately, the producers of the flick thoughtthat filling nearly two hours of filming with outlandish jokes, actionscenes, 'banging old women' scenes, and racial stereotypes (which, bythe way, are FAR from funny and VERY far from true), would make up forthe emptiness of the plot. Well, for any sane person, it just doesn'twork that way. I cannot express how stupid this movie is. Not evenTorturro could save it.
paulrbuckle (20 April 2013)
Contemptible Rubbish
This movie was an insult to the viewer. In fact, I wonder if AdamSandler was carrying out some kind of experiment to see how bad andunfunny a movie he could get away with making. Well, he succeeded inwasting 20 minutes of my time before I could stand no more. Not onlyare the jokes absolutely lame and the acting pathetic - Adam Sandler inparticular seems to be making no effort at all - but the setting ofthis useless and unintelligent movie in the context of the very seriousongoing Israeli-Palestinian conflict is just sickening. This is thetype of movie that would never have been made but for the influenceAdam Sandler now has in the movie industry. He is riding off his pastand into a very dim future if this paltry effort is anything to go by.
kinkyface (16 April 2013)
Sandler- scaled down.
This movie is entertaining for the best part, you wont situncomfortably staring at the screen asking yourself "whats the point inme watching this?" Zohan is a lovable character, as is robSchneider's's. Between them they manage to make a poor film slightlyhumorous. You will find yourself laughing at a few bits but the storyline is predictable and given the choice i know that i'd rent littleNicky instead. In my opinion this movie isn't worth watching at thecinema or renting when it comes out. Just wait for it to appear on skymovies and watch it then. You'll be safe in the knowledge that therewas no whimsical squandering of your hard earned funds which will makethe film be a slightly fonder memory.
dunmore_ego (16 April 2013)
Political Palestinian-Israeli Zionist Hairdresser Sex Comedy.
YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN messes with our brains. Because it'sactually funny. Messing with our preconceptions that Sandler is amindless jerk, writers Sandler, Robert Smigel and the great Judd Apatowgive us ridiculous piled on absurd and nipple-pinched by insane. Andthankfully, mediocre director Dennis Dugan (his IMDb directorialratings read like a prescription for beige) doesn't ruin things. Israeli Special Forces operative, Zohan (Sandler) is sick of hissuperspy life of capturing and killing Palestinians in holy wars, sofakes his death and sneaks into America on a plane ("the terrorists"have shown us how easy that is) to follow his dream of styling hair inNew York. The movie unexpectedly tipped into quality when Zohan "auditions" forthe salon of svelte Palestinian Dahlia (Emmanuelle Chriqui) with"no-handed" pushups. I couldn't help the milk squirting out of my nosein laughter. And I wasn't drinking milk at the time. His worked-out body exposed in wild abandon, his jock-pouch bulgingwith cushioning bush, his surfwave Avalon 'do rivaling Ace Ventura'sfor creamy goodness, Sandler has found his comedy stride in ZOHAN, notstooping to his implausible jutting-jawed jerk to "try" to be funny.His Middle Eastern accent is so perfect, I thought I was listening toOsama bin Laden. Now if only he could get the stanque of talentlesstool Rob Schneider out of his skirts... Schneider is an olive-skinned Palestinian taxi driver. Okay, let's talkabout something else. Zohan eventually gets his chance to style old ladies' hair - whichinvolves more sexual healing than actual haircutting. Back in HAPPYGILMORE (1996), Sandler nonchalantly plonked that old Japanese lady -here, he takes geriatric sex to a new level of eeuuw! Incognito in America, Zohan maintains he is from Australia. His firstBBW lover comments: "You don't sound Australian." Zohan: "That'sbecause I am half Australian, half Mount Everest." BBW: "It's so muchnicer in Australia since they got rid of the apartheid." Zohan: "Yes,the weather is much cooler." Zohan's Palestinian nemesis, The Phantom (John Turturro, also with aMiddle Eastern accent that would warrant jihad anywhere outside of thismovie) runs a successful franchise in America called PhantomMuchentuchen. Pointless, but damn, it sounds funny. Israeli Zohan andPhantom must team up to defeat a common enemy - racist Americansagainst Arabs. Film is chock full of snide political observations aboutthe idiocy of the Palestinian-Israeli conflict, which I doubt Sandler'starget audience would grasp. And considering the Israeli-Palestinianconflict shows no signs of abating, we can safely say the Israelis andPalestinians must therefore have the brain capacity of Adam Sandlerfans.Cameos by Henry Winkler, Chris Rock, and the highly unfunny KevinNealon, who does the impossible - no, not bring peace to the MiddleEast - he manages to be unfunnier than Rob Schneider.
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